Voices Inside The Mind

So this post has been a long time coming but kept getting delayed for a variety of excuses.  Yes, I use excuses instead of reasons.  I could go on about trying to use photos from G+ into a blog without linking the profile.  The fact that I had was my tablet or phone to try and post with and just how much it actually sucks trying to do serious typing without a physical keyboard.   Or I could go on about being tired from the work and just needing to unplug.

I could even go to when I first posted about making this blog and despite all the positive reactions and encouragement how one single comment that I'm not even sure wasn't in jest.  How it sat there like a whisper in the back of the mind telling me that this is silly, why would anyone read this, come on you're not really this boring are you, they were just being nice, etc ad nauseam.  Yes, it was one comment in a sea of encouragement and I used to scoff at comics such as:

http://www.sandraandwoo.com/2013/09/09/0509-the-artist/

Then it happened to me and I found it a surprising struggle to dealing with.  

But here's the thing, it wasn't that comment.  It was myself.  My own voice in my head.  That voice of dissent that makes us question, that makes us think we aren't good enough, etc.  But that same voice of dissent is needed to excel.  That questioning voice that wonders about all your actions that makes you look at what you do critically, to spend time deconstructing what you do.  It's needed and I think the key to making breakthroughs.  However, it's a problem when it comes conjunctive with self defeatism.  It's that sense of negativity that really just hides the self inflicted fear of failing, of being mocked, of being thought a fool.

And I was still struggling with this problem until, during my excuse time; I started to re-read/catch up on XKDC's strip, "Dreams,"  and you know what?  This entire idea may just suck, this entire thing could blow up in my face, this entire thing could be a total waste of my time; but Fuck. That. Shit.

I do this because A) I want to, B) I'd like to share my experiences, and C) and most importantly b/c I fucking want to.  In the next few days I'm going to do a catch up/highlight post and try to figure out how to share 2 and half weeks of travel, meeting amazing people, partaking in a crazy game, and performance driving training into something that isn't a novel.  It's a challenge but you know what?

Challenge Accepted.